(*) after a few tense moments and some entertaining walking through the mostly barren streets of hong kong at 8 in the morning on a saturday, i finally arrived at the train station. thank god for pseudo english speakers at train stations. i was herded onto the correct train from kowloon over to guangzhou. there were 2 stops, and it took about 2 hours. i arrived at Guangzhou train station east. this would later prove to be the most painful fact of my entire asian trip. which, considering there were a few moments throughout the rest of the trip, the crew would find themselves in semi-precarious situations involving local shady asians of both the male & female persuasions, this isn't so bad in retrospect.
(*) at guangzhou train station east, as this was an entry point into china proper from hong kong, i went through customs. immediately upon exiting the train station, as would become customary, i was hustled for a tax ride. i told him, "i got it". these should be my famous last words etched onto my epitaph. this was the beginning of the end for my feet. and my body weight. i needed to get to guangzhou train station west by 5 pm, in order to get my connecting train from guangzhou to nanning, china, which is a border town with vietnam. it was currently about 11 am. huh. 6 hours to walk to another train station in this town. should be easy. right? f-bombing wrong.
(*) i think the old man is puking. (i wrote this in my journal, and have no idea what the hell it is in reference to - let's just pretend there was an old man puking on the side of the street).
(*) Set out, correctly, south. then headed west for a while. asked two people for directions: they told me to head east. i found the road, which was the original south in the Lonely Planet, and kept to it. i then headed west on Huanshi Dong Lu. while walking with my bag and backpack, in hot humid weather, this was the closest i'd come to the sweating and wetness i experienced at the Manu Chao concert. let's just say the clothes i wore today, i was unable to wear for the rest of the trip.
i ripped through the water from the evening before and finished the free water i was given on the train. a while later, i had no choice but to buy water. that lasted, well, maybe, 2 minutes. and that was one of the larger sized waters they had. walking past a college, i stopped for two loaves of french bread and water.
i threw down my bags on the sidewalk, stopped, and ate chinese style with no regard to how i looked to those individuals passing by me and staring. when i say chinese style, i'm merely making a shorthand of how local asian individuals will wait for a train outside a train station. while waiting for their trains, the entire family waits outside the train station by sitting on their luggage so they do not have to sit on the ground. looking at a family of 4-16 individuals doing this at once has always amused me. it looks like my family's dinner, but only with stranger food & out in the middle of an urban train station.
this "lunch" energized me, kinda, and so the trek continued. a camera store offered me an air conditioned haven where i could buy batteries for my camera. the batteries were 5 yuan, which is about $.60. The cashier told me i was on the right track. no excitement really at this point, just 3 hours of walking with 70 pounds of crap on my shoulders. this walk included a stretch alongside a highway upon a seemingly abandoned sidewalk.
(*) i finally reached the guangzhou train station west at approximately 4 pm. one hour before my train was supposed to leave. 5 hours of walking. continuously. with 70 pounds of crap on my shoulders. with shoes that were giving me blisters. it was at this point, my foot's blister was forcing me to walk with a limp so as to remove the pressure from my feet. but hell - i was about to catch a train, so there was really no reason to worry. i walked up to the guangzhou train station west - thinking i've conquered multiple foreign train stations before. what would make this one any different.
guangzhou train station west is the most batshite apeshit psychotic train station in the world.
i can make that statement comfortably, and am willing to defend this hypothesis until my death.
for those of you who already have a fondness for the queing abilities of asians, especially chinese, you will then love and appreciate this sentiment if you ever go to guangzhou train station west. there is no order. there are no rules. this is vietnam, in china.
the lines, out of a possible 50 or so cashier's windows, were all at least 30-40 people deep. and as my train was about to leave, i decided to utilize the color of my skin. as a white traveler in asia, i've learned that no one really says anything to you if you go and ask someone for help. even when you have to cut 30-40 other people. well, perhaps they do mutter things, but since i can't understand their language, it really doesn't matter. so i went up to the window where there was a guy behind it, the cashier, with a sign up to the window. presumably, it said something like "i'm out to lunch right now, don't bother me", but since i can't read chinese, it didn't exist. after some scherades, or however you spell it, and some simple grunts and fingers in the air and a calendar, i conveyed to the cashier that i wanted a ticket to nanning tonight. and then it happened.
the guy turned the computer towards me & pointed to what was simply a red character of some sort. it is never good to see red - whether it is on your 3rd grade paper you wrote for your teacher, or a train reservation screen. red is always bad news - whether it is on your 3rd grade paper you wrote for your teacher, or a train reservation screen. the same result will echo in your head. fuck.
in my case, the red character meant, "sold out". son of a bitch. not only was i unable to leave this god forsaken hiking town and rest my feet that at this point were on fire, but i would have to secure lodging for the evening with one of the hustlers outside. god. damn. it.
with both of my feet equally torn up, although the right one was winning the competition of most painful at this point, i had to exit the train station, with a ticket purchased for tomorrow night's trip to nanning, and face that which irritates me the most - the hagglers. the bargainers. the street hustlers. the people who get a percentage of the nightly rate they sign you up for at a local hotel or guesthouse. and being that i was in a beautiful mood, upon exiting, i felt actually really bad for these people with whom i was about to do economic battle.
the hostel directly across the street was closed for renovations. of course. afer getting out to the main plaza, i was hassled by approximately 6 people each with different english shouts ranging from "hey mista" to "4 stah cheep hotel". for the 4 star guy, i went up to him, took the booklet out of his hand, covered up the 4 stars and said, "cheap". that didn't work.
eventually i found a woman who settled for 80Y for the evening. $10.60 for a room? sure. hit me. it turns out i only had another mile or so to walk until i got to the hotel. first we (myself and the woman) crossed both sides of the 4 lane highway - for a total crossing of 8 lanes.
the woman states "ok - there - whoosh - whoosh". the "whoosh" was the sound the woman made. so its merely a phonetic spelling. in either case, i don't speak whoosh.
------> jacoby's new nickname is "dragon styler"
second, the woman introduced me to a man sitting on the opposite side of the highway. third, the man walked me back down an alley and up 2 flights to an apartment room. there we agreed on the price of 80Y. fourth, we walked back down the alley. fifth, we turned left and walked two blocks down and then made a left. sixth, we walked further, until we crossed the street. as tired pissed and in pain as i was, i crossed that intersection chicago pedestrian style. no-look-your-cars-will-stop-for-me type strut. seventh, we walked into a mall. yes, a mall. eighth, we walked into an elevator which had this sign posted in it. notice the use of the word "schlep":
ninth, we took the elevator up to the 4th floor and walked down this hallway.
tenth, we got to this emergency exit:
eleventh, we walked through this door which, at this time, did not have a lock on it. this lock would become troublesome later in the evening.
twelfth, we walked up a flight of stairs to this landing.
thirteenth, i looked to the left, where this view was provided:
fourteenth, we walked up these steps. i hoped that wasn't blood.
fifteenth, we saw this man. i eventually found this out to be the husband / dad / man of the apartment in which i was to sleep. he spoke zero english, but was as kind as they come. as was his continuously smiling and lovable wife.
sixteenth, i by myself found my room in that apartment.
whew. you think you're tired just reading that. i felt like i was continuously stepping in open pit barbeque flames. i sat down on the bed, and tried to do what i could for my feet. in the end, i figured that since i was in guangzhou for the first and probably last time, i should get up and see what this fair city has to offer a small curious traveler. so i sucked it up, popped several blisters, and headed out to the riverfront.
note to self: never pop blisters. then they just become open wounds. although, i've got to disgustingly tell you - it was always odd to pop a blister, and feel warm water ooze out. seriously. odd.
(*) on my way out into the crazy little world of guangzhou for the first time without 70 pounds of obnoxiousness on my back, i realized the city is a bit more interesting than what i had previously imagined. as i headed towards the river, and dusk became to gradually creep forward, the city began to slowly awake, and the night markets began to open up. there is a small portion of the late afternoon / evening in chinese cities where it seems everyone removes themselves from their houses and either tries to sell something, or buy something. the sensory overload and stimulus workload for my brain at these points is always something near impossible to deal with.
(*) this walk towards the riverfront made me realize why i love china. the chaos. the ambiguity. the small "stores" stacked upon one another with no room to spare and no room to escape its chaotic underpinning and there's no chance to relax. its continuous sensory overload. its like the lights and neon vegas offers, but with a life altering perspective changing by-product. the small alleys and walkways thrust upon the wide-eyed traveler shops/homes/homes that are shops, in a manner that is relentless. i don't think i could eternally exist within that environment, but i'm eternally grateful for its gifts.
(*) walking towards the river made me realize something. how i hadn't ate a full meal since i have arrived in asia. thoughts of my previous trip to china a few years ago where i got a touch of food poisoning from failing to cook a shrimp for long enough in a mongolian hotpot therefore relegating me to 10 straight days or so of eating only bowls of rice, were still fresh in my memory. then there it was. as the sun shone through the clouds for just a single moment before the evening fully overtook guangzhou's night: a restaurant run by an ethnic chinese muslim minority. here is the result of me sitting down for a bowl of their delicious hand made noodles with beef.
before:
after:
nostalgia never tasted so good.
(*) after reading a portion of "Atlas Shrugged" and finishing off my $.50 bowl of delightful dinner, i headed to the riverfront. it was much like hong kong, but not nearly to the same degree. small booths exploding out of every building, offering to sell locals and explorers together the newest bootlegged fashions, assorted uniform trinkets, and cell phone casings. the river front was not nearly as exciting as hong kong's victoria harbor, but it had its own unique character. as it still was light out, i was unable to determine if the guangzhou city counsel has the same affinity for neon as does hong kong's. here is a picture or 2 of the front.
(*) this is the riverfront of the "pearl river". it faced a tall order of living up to victoria harbor. inevitably, it failed. but i did learn that i absolutely DO WANT a "chair" on the back of my bike.
(*) walked up to a bridge which ran over the river. took a few camera shots.
(*) i walked back to my home with my headphones on. i almost bought a cello at a music store. i got the salesman extremely excited, but the fact he did not have a hard case for the shipment of the cello prevented serious negotiation. it was entertaining when he offered me a regular soft case and he said something tothe effect of "this will be fine for your travels". right.
(*) the walk home provided one of the more "oh shit" stories i was to encounter over the course of my trip to asia. i forgot that the only way i was shown as to how to get to my apartment was through the mall. well, what would happen if the mall was closed? well....
that was the point i started hustling / hobbling home. i got back to the mall, and all the stores' lights were turned off, and all the entrances into the mall were locked, except for one. and the one entrance that was open, was being guarded by a security guard. figuring i would utilize my knowledge from previous asian encounters, i vowed to myself to act like i knew what the hell i was doing.
me as i walked by the security guard: "hey, what's up there chief"
security guard: "...."
nothing, because he didn't understand what i just said as i walked through the open doors. i walked by a laborer who seemed to be delivering things on the overnight shift in front of various stores. i went to my usual elevator, took it up to the 4th floor, and found the emergency exit. that's where the lock on the door in the picture above garners much more weight. as all people do immediately before they get into an accident, i said, "oh shit."
i walked up and down to various floors, hoping my memory had, in its infinite wisdom, played yet another trick on myself. no dice. after attempting to proceed through all possible entrances and exits. all to no avail. i decided to try my luck outside.
i walked back out the entrance through which i hastily entered. i had to be let outside of the mall through that exit, by the security guard who i had previously shuffled by. it then occurred to me. i had been locked inside a chinese mall by myself. righteous.
after getting out of the chinese mall jail, i tried to talk to the security guard about how to get to my hotel. how did that fare you ask? well. (1) he didn't speak english. (2) i wasn't staying at a hotel, it was some guy's spare bedroom. (3) the guy's spare bedroom was not named by a neon sign. (4) i didn't speak chinese. what saved me? technology my friend.
i tore through my bag, found my camera, and scrambled to find the pictures i had taken from my room's window of what was immediately to the left and right of and what was directly in front of my apartment's room. bingo bitches! the guy recognized what the hell i was babbling at. he then pointed me down towards the back portion of the mall. although he pointed me in the right direction, from what i could tell from where i walked in the mall, the end point where i was to turn right to head towards my room, was a pitch black alley.
since i didn't want to pay for another hotel room elsewhere (read: cheap bastard placing economics over personal safety), i decided to roll the dice. what's the worst that could happen? well, nothing. other than i was extremely frightened like a little school girl. but after 2 straightaways and 3 corners into literally nothing but black night, i found the staircase leading up to my room. seriously. black. imagine walking through a coal mine without a head light. and instead of a coal mine, it is a foreign country where the yakuza roam freely.
lesson to be learned from this? always take pictures of where the hell you stay. that, and carry around an address of your place either scrawled on a piece of paper or a professional business card. or your arm in sharpie.
i got home, watched a bit of WWF in english - i forgot how real wrestling is - and then went to sleep on my plywood bed with a bit of padding atop it.
here are the sandals i used to shower. this is the black market at its finest.
here's a quality picture from hong kong i forgot to share. it was in a Foot Locker type store in hong kong.
imagine walking down Michigan avenue & seeing this cartoonish figure in a window, welcoming window shoppers. oh you crazy chinese.
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